Suckers = us

Atrios says:

Reading through what's been released I still don't really get a sense of the important details. "Who eats how much shit" is the big question and it isn't entirely clear.

As the old saying goes, if you're sitting at a table, and you don't know who gets to eat how much shit, guess who gets to eat the most.

PTCRHMHIOD

Last week John McCain was asked just how many houses he and wife own. This may seem like a simple question to answer. For instance, if someone were to ask me how many houses I own, I would reply very quickly with:

0

McCain, on the other hand, had this to say when asked such a simple question:

"I think — I'll have my staff get to you," McCain told Politico in Las Cruces, N.M. "It's condominiums where — I'll have them get to you."

Is McCain an out-of-touch elitist who is so f-ing rich he doesn't even know how many homes his family owns? This may seem like the case, but only if you are completely ignorant of the demons that haunt McCain day-in and day-out. McCain's campaign was alluding to this affliction when asked to respond to the fact that McCain has no idea how many homes he owns. His campaign spokesman, Brian Rogers, had this to say:

“This is a guy who lived in one house for five and a half years — in prison.”

This may seem like McCain is, yet again, pulling out the ole "Noun, Verb, POW" card to shield himself from any criticism over any subject. But this is simply not the case. Instead, McCain suffers from PTCRHMHIOD, or Post Traumatic Can't Remember How Many Houses I Own Disorder. This horrible condition has forever altered the lives of countless Vietnam Vets, and especially former POWs, after their return to the States. In fact, it is the number one cause of divorce between former POWs and their millionaire liquor-heiress wives.

It is a shame that Democrats, and especially the Obama Campaign, will exploit McCain's ailment just to win an election. Obviously they will trivialize the service of any and all former military men-turned-politicians that use any suffering they endured while serving to deflect criticism of any kind, even it's about how much f-ing money they have.

Dems should be ashamed. Leave this honorable man and his four seven ten twelve houses alone!

House-gate

Or is it Houses-Gate? The question of the day is:

HOW MANY HOUSES DOES JOHN McCAIN OWN?

Honestly, you might think this would be an easy question to answer. At least for regular folks. For instance, I own exactly zero homes. Just like most of the people I know.

I do know one guy who's a lawyer and does very, very well. He also owns some investment properties. If I were to ask him how many homes he owns, this is how the conversation would go:

Me: Hey, how many homes do you own?

Him: 4, my house and three other that I rent.

Me: Cool, thanks.

Him: How many you own?

Me: None. You know that; I make jack shit as a scientist.

Him: oh...

Yet here's what John McCain said when asked the same question:

"I think — I'll have my staff get to you," McCain told Politico in Las Cruces, N.M. "It's condominiums where — I'll have them get to you."

He doesn't even fucking know how many homes he owns? WTF? Is he that f-ing rich? Or is he just senile? How can anyone not know how many homes they own? WHAT. THE. F?

Anyway, the DNC has put together a helpful guide to let McCain know just how many homes he owns:

Must be nice to be so f-ing rich that you don't even know how many homes you own...

Update:

Here's the audio of John "I'll have my staff get back to you on that" McCain

Clipped Quote = Same old regular BS

Jesus Christ, I'm so glad I'm not there to watch this BS on a regular basis...

Wake me when the stoopid season ends...

Ricahrd Cohen is an idiot

Richard "ultra-liberal" Cohen says this:

McCain's true virtue is that he is a lousy politician. He is not a convincing liar, and when he adopts positions that are not his own, they infect him, sapping him of what might be called integrity energy.

I think the best response I've seen for this vapidity is this from the comment section at Yglesias's place from Tim Conner:

You know, to take Richard Cohen seriously, you would have to think he was an honest man.

Like McCain, he is not. You see, to be honest, it's not enought to be uncomfortable with lying. You have to tell the truth when it's inconvenient.

At least, that's what my mom told me when I was little.

How Cohen can look at McCain's flip-floppery and see something honorable completely escapes me. McCain's a douchebag for flushing his integrity down the toilet; Cohen is even for worse respecting it.

Go Obama Go!

We went to the Obama rally last Thursday. I don't have time to give a recap, and it's already old news anyway. But Mrs AI gave a nice recap here, and check out this video a friend took of baby AI getting on gettin' on with a good ol' "Go Obama Go" chant and finishing it off with a classic terrorist fist jab. He's such a cute little terrorist.

I said halb Kilo of Cherries!

I went to the local farmer's stand today to get some produce. It's a little weird here; you don't get to pick your produce. Instead, you stand in line and wait your turn to talk to some guy to let him know what you want. Then he puts your produce in a bag and then you pay.

So I wanted funf Apfel und vier Pfirsiche (five apples and four peaches) and ein halb Kilo Kirschen (half a kilogram of cherries). The guy put my apples and peaches in the basket, and then piled the cherries into a paper bag. He gave me my basket and I walked into the store to pay.

When I got up to the counter, I noticed that I had TWO paper bags of produce in addition to my plastic bags of apples and peaches. Both bags had stickers that said the they had about 1/2 a kilo each. I figured that the guy outside gave me two bags of cherries, or one 1/2 kilo too many. I started to tell the guy, using my 100-word vocabulary of German, that I only wanted 1/2 a kilo of cherries. And he looked at the bags and said "OK, you want half kilo, you have half kilo." I kept pointing to the bags as saying, "No I only want ONE 1/2 kilo", and he kept saying "yeah, you get one half kilo" but kept trying to make me pay for both bags. I finally gave up, figuring these guys were trying to take advantage of the dumb American who can't speak German, sticking him with some extra cherries like some dumb schmuck!

Anyway, I got home and was pretty steamed. I told Mrs AI about what happened, and she was pissed that I paid for both bags. I tried to explain to her that I just gave up and something was being lost in translation. I started to put the produce into the fridge, and lo and behold, the second bag didn't have cherries in it at all. Instead, it was filled with Turkish Apricots that the guy outside accidentally put in my basket! No wonder the guy thought I was such a douche for wanting ONLY half a kilo of cherries! Next time I'll be sure to actually look inside the bags!

Man am I an ass...